Hang Loose and Relax
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"
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Funny Thoughts
"Ever notice how the most often quoted person is 'Anon?'" - Anon
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QUICK WIT:
Two kids were talking one day. "Can people predict the future with cards?"
"My mother can."
"Really?"
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
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Funny Thoughts
"I stand by all the misstatements I made." - J. Danforth Quayle
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"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Thoughts
"Ever notice how the most often quoted person is 'Anon?'" - Anon
-------------------------------------------------------------
QUICK WIT:
Two kids were talking one day. "Can people predict the future with cards?"
"My mother can."
"Really?"
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Thoughts
"I stand by all the misstatements I made." - J. Danforth Quayle
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